I’m working on my memoirs and recently I read through the bound volume of my 1973 journal. I marked things that caught my eye and am still in the process of making notes from those things for several volumes of my memoirs. All that is taking a lot of time and so I’m writing here a lot less. But I learned something so interesting that I thought it was worth sharing.
I am happier now. Way happier. But I always thought of that year as one of the happiest in my life.
Well, 1973 did have some very good parts. I was passionately in love. We lived so close to the ocean that we could hear the surf from our bed. We frequently went for long walks on the beach. I had good friends, both adults and some lively children who lived next door. My creativity was at a high pitch. I was doing a lot of really delicious, healthy cooking, much of it out of our big organic garden. Many of my dreams were coming true.
So of course I would remember it as a very happy time.
But what I have been reading in my journal shows a very mixed picture. I was morose and irritable for a few days every month. At any time, I worried about money, not without reason. The love of my life and I squabbled a lot… neither one of us had learned yet to let go of the need to be right. I was tired a lot and hard on myself about that. Fear haunted me at times.
I could go on, but you get the picture.
NOW? Well, truth be told, I can still worry, I still get tired easily, I still… But none of that matters so much any more. Life gives me so many gifts every day, and a key difference is that now I notice them.
No spectacular sunset last night? But at least the tiny yellow roses are coming into full bloom all over the bushes.
I walked to the public library and came home with an armload of enjoyable books. I’ve started the first one and been delighted at how the writer raised her baby chicks partly in her home office, complete with little poops in her hair. I loved the baby chicks we raised a few years ago but not that much.
I saw two friends when I stopped in at the food coop for a few things. My sense of community here in Silver City is growing.
So these things are not big deals. Living more fully within the Love of God is a big deal and that is certainly part of why I am happier. The state of the world is no cause for happiness in my view but I do tend to think that practicing being happy is my best answer. And it’s working!